Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Tune Up

So I go to the "Make a Baby" doctor today.

I tell him, I was late -

Being late of course caused me to help further build the pregnancy test empire. Some one, some where, is getting very rich off of me.

They could charge a nickle a test and they would still be making a killing off of me. "it said no... I've never had one be wrong before EVER... but maybe, just maybe this one is wrong... I should test again...Hmmm another no...maybe I didn't wait long enough I should test again...hmmm still no, maybe this test isn't sensitive enough I should test again... hmmm still no, wonder what that means...?"

Know what it means? It means you're just late because your body has a very sick and twisted sense of humor and is somehow getting a kickback from the pregnancy test industry!

Another possibility is that my uterus and my liver are working together. Maybe my liver wants a weekend off so it is paying off my uterus to mess up my cycle.

But I digress, I was late...

Hmm says the doc... lets see:







Excuse me doc? did you do your training at Superlube by chance?

Oil Filter?


Transmission Fluid?


Oil Cap?


SO he asks if I'm getting really worried.

No. We aren't panicking, I just want to stop flushing money down the toilet so to speak.

You have Irregular cycles.

Really? You don't say, how many years of medical school was that again?

So.. You produce less eggs than other women, giving you less chances a year to get pregnant.

Uhm, are you trying to get me worried?

Do nothing he says.

Nothing? Really?

This is what will get me results... Nothing?

Are you sure? 'Cause I can think of a step that might actually be quite crucial...

Just, relax and don't worry about it, don't think about it, just pretend like you are not trying to have a baby.


I don't think the Pregnancy Test Tycoons are going to like that!

No comments:

Post a Comment