Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Common Courtesy

I renamed this post a dozen times: things that make me angry; rules for our high speed lifestyles; etc. I'm just feeling frustrated. People everywhere just seem to be a little more selfish, a little less kind and allot more rude. I was planning on pointing out new rules we need for people, but then I realized most of them aren't that new. So basically its just a rant. A random list of things that are pissing me off.

1. At the Drive Thru- Pull Ahead! I don't care if you can order or not there are people lined up in the middle of the road because you don't think you need to pull ahead that car length until you can get to the speaker!

2. Did you know its actually the law that you should signal before you are half way through the turn? For real, other drivers might actually be interested in knowing the direction you plan on hurtling your thousand pounds of steel!

3. Why can't waitresses be allowed to write things down anymore? I get excited when I see a pen and paper, "oh my! They might actually get my order right!!"

4. How could you possibly think its Okay to subject entire stores full of people to your child who is screaming uncontrollably while you don't even so much as shush them????

5. And while we are on the topic of children, if you take your child somewhere, a store a restaurant- anywhere that they might come into contact with other humans. PAY ATTENTION TO THEM! I am tired of having some kid mouth off to me or be pulling stuff off the shelves of the store I'm in and there are no parents to be found! We had some kid skateboarding on a brand new still in the plastic skateboard off the shelf in superstore and there he is, ramming into people and his parents are..... Probably at home relaxing!

6. If you have accepted a job somewhere, do it. If you don't want to do your job, quit! It is very simple. Why do the rest of us have to suffer because you are unhappy? Especially if you live in Alberta- guess what? You can have a new job the same day if you don't like the one you have!

7. On that note, if I am at a restaurant and you do the bare minimum of your job by bringing me my food and clearing the plates- I'm not tipping you. I understand waiters and waitresses rely heavily on their tips, but you are being paid to do your job. You are being paid to take my order and bring food to the table. If you provide exceptional service, really nice, very conscientious I'll tip you. Tips are a gratuity, I am grateful for the extra little something you did for me, and you should be grateful for the tip. I should not feel obligated to tip for crappy service. And I'd appreciate it if you'd stop asking! If I want to add a tip to my bill I will, nothing like a request for a tip to make you lose one!

8. On the same topic, when can we start taking money off the bill for really crappy service? I think the 10 or 15% or whatever it is now should be a sliding scale. I'll tip you if you provide decent service, but if my meal is cold, or I have to wait an hour to get a cup of coffee that tip comes off the bill and I get a cheaper meal for having to put up with really crappy service.

9. Why does it take people so long to accelerate to the speed limit after sitting at a red light? Especially at turn lights. Do you not want to go? Why are there 3 car length spaces between you and the guy in front of you and now I have to sit through another red light- just go!

ARG!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

CATS FOR SALE!

I have 3 cats. 3 Fat, lazy cats. Lately the cats and I have noticed a scrtch scrtch scrtch noise coming from the walls. Mice. Mice are in my walls. I explain to the kitties that they only have 1 job. Do Not, Under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, allow mice to invade our home.

Saturday a mouse enters the house- THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR!

Kitties, I say, do your stuff- get rid of the mouse!

Sunday night/Monday morning 1am the little mouse runs from the kitchen to our bedroom. I grab the deadliest of the sleeping cats and throw him at the mouse. "Get It!" I yell,
And he does. He gets it, under his paw, lifts his paw to look at it....and it runs away. It starts hiding behind my laundry baskets (of which there are too many that are too full) so we move them and the cat runs after the mouse, and the mouse hides, and we move a basket... Repeat.
Out of baskets to hide behind the mouse runs out of the bedroom.

Now it's in the laundry room, behind the dryer.
We take all three cats into the laundry room.
We plug the entrance to the house.
We plug the entrances under the washer, dryer heater, everywhere he could go.
3 cats and a tiny room- this mouse is done!
Al scoots him out with a broom, he runs, the cats run, the mouse scoots through the 1/4 inch opening under the door and into the entryway.
Al flings open the door and the cats follow, out into the entry way, to the heater.

The mouse is in the heater.

I turn on the heat.
2 cats waiting in front of the heater....
Waiting....
Out comes the mouse and
BLAMMO! Gimli- the fattest, laziest cat we have- gets him, in his mouth!
Yeah for Gimli! Good Kitty, Way to do your...

He lets him go!

Not just lets him go, Tosses him away!

No No fat cat! This is not a toy!! Kill the mouse! Don't PLAY with the mouse!!!

And the chase is on again.

Al and I steering the mouse to the cats or the cats to the mouse.
Again he gets it! and again he tosses it away and bats it around, and then it runs....
Under this, Move that, Cat gets him, he runs, under this pull out that.... the cats decide- there is much too much running going on, they will just lie here, and eventually, the mouse will come back to them.

Kathunk!

Al gets the mouse.

3 Cats and 2 Humans vs 1 Mouse took 2 hours, and nearly destroyed my house!
At 3 am we had upturned laundry baskets in the bedroom, towels and laundry stuffed in every nook and cranny in the laundry room, and EVERY piece of furniture, coat, box, hat, heater, garbage, recycling in the entry way had been moved or tipped over. There was broken glass, a wholly mess and a dead mouse!

Anyone wanna buy a cat?

Friday, July 28, 2006

Uhm, Has Anyone Seen July?

So I look at the calendar and I think, Monday is July 31st? What? No that can not be!! I look on line here and lo' and behold the last time I posted was May, which feels like about 2 weeks ago!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

ONE HOUR

In one Human Hour Al and I:

Drove to town;
Returned a Movie;
Looked for a new rental;
Bought Rum;
Bought Mix;
Drove Home;

In the same Hour of Puppy time My dog Franklin:

Ate my black dress shoes;
Ate my black CAT sandals;
Ate my blue slipper insoles;
Ate my brown slipper;
Chewed on my blue sandals;
Chewed on Al's blue sandals;
Ate my White Bra;
Ate my Phone bill; (do I still have to pay?)
Ate Al's new book;
Ate Al's old book:
Chewed the tag off my stuffed mouse;
Chewed the tag off my stuffed cow;
Ate the cat's catnip mouse;
Ate the cat's catnip ball;
Ate a magazine; (we still aren't sure which one)
Dragged every one of the above items into a different room than the ones they originated;
Napped.

So, apparently every human year is 7 puppy years because every human hour is 7 puppy hours in which they can destroy your house!!

Friday, May 05, 2006

OH PUPPY!

While we were in Edmonton we took a trip to Lee Valley to buy a sprinkler/irrigation system for our garden.

It's very neat, a big hose runs the length of the garden and little hoses come off of it. You make the little hose reach the plant you want to water then connect the little hose to a little sprinkler. In effect every plant has its own tiny little sprinkler. The sprinklers are staked into the soil and all is good.

Unless you own a dog.

The day we got home Al was out setting up the system. The next day when we got home from work there were a couple sprinklers that had magically "popped" out of the soil and on to the sidewalk.

Al put the sprinklers back in and scolded the dog.

The dog pulled MORE sprinklers out, and completely destroyed one.

Al put them back, and severly scolded the dog.

Undaunted, the dog continued to systematically wreck one little sprinkler a day!

On Thursday I bought the dog a garden fence!

"and she brought peace to the world and all was great!"

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Oh Kitty!

I get home from working late last night and find my husband outside, calling my little kitty.

Grizzly has been a pain to get in for the last couple of weeks but can usually be inticed by rattling food dishes or convincing him you fully intend for him to stay outside, you just really want to pet him. Not last night.
He just keeps meowing at me Al says. I call him, and indeed he meows back, but not in that "screw you I'm playing outside" tone but in the "help me I'm just a poor little kitty" tone

Something's wrong! I say- a statement which was met with a look that made me think that my husband was actually planning out how to get me to the mental hospital.

Off I go to "rescue" my kitty.

My Kitty, who was STUCK in a Tree about 8 feet up!

Jump I say to my kitty, c'mon, jump!
Meeeerrrererererowww, he says- which I have decided to interpret as meaning- I'm stuck in a tree here!

You got up there I say! Why can't you get down?
MEeerroereoreowrowereoreoew- I'm taking as- Hello?? STUCK! What part of STUCK aren't you getting?

So we coax, and we call, and we construct elaborate ways for him to get down fromt the tree- he decides... Its a game!! He starts "batting" at the limb we are using to "gently push" him in the right direction.

Finally Al made him a ramp and I swung a limb at the tree behind him in the hopes of scaring him down the ramp... it worked!

He ran down the ramp, and under the house... Now apparently he's been stuck in a tree all day and hasn't had enough time outside so we started getting "screw you" meows.
Ahhh the joys of a little kitty!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Its Been A Long Time...

My I haven't posted in FO- EVA!

I am just mad as a hatter at my doctor.

So I'm sick, and my doctor was on vacation.

no problem, everyone needs a vacation, I'm sure they are working very hard.

I sit at the walk in for an hour and the doc there says "yep, sick, let it run its course"

Groovy. I love that diagnosis... 8 years of medical training? You don't say?

So now I'm dizzy. Woozy, feel like my head is not attached to my body at times.

I go to my doctor, and wait and wait and wait and reschedule- for 5 Days Later!!

So I still feel awful and I'm dreading having to sit in his waiting room for an hour tomorrow.

Sick sucks!

Doctors suck!

It all sucks!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Awooga!

So I wake up this morning to the following:

"What the?!"

Kathump

"oh gross!"

As I opened my eyes I found my husband glaring at me... "YOUR CAT!" he says with much distaste.

"Your cat just tried to vomit on me!"

Apparently he woke up to something completely different.

APPARENTLY He woke up to my big fat kitty, standing ON him making the Hukka Hukka sick cat noise!

The Kathump I heard was the cat being "lowered" to the floor in a speedy fashion, where he continued to vomit.... On one of Al's favourite shirts.

And a good morning was had by all!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

ITS MY BIRTHDAY

Happy Birthday to me!

I love birthdays!

I'm even loving this one, although I am feeling older, and rather introspective.

I don't think I've ever actually felt older on a birthday, but this year I do.

I guess thats life!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

D-DAY

Tomorrow is D - Day

I have a Dentist appointment tomorrow.

hee hee whooo hee hee whooo,

Doing good so far. Its just a filling, how bad can it be?

Don't answer that.

Its not going to hurt, people get fillings all the time.

I will be fine I will be fine I will be fine.

Did I mention I'm going all by myself??

WHoo WHoo WHooo Whoo hee hee hee hee hee hee Whoo whoo whoo

I think I need to lie down....

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The New Couch.

So we got a new couch this weekend.
A super duper comfy black leather reclining couch.

Aaaaahh, sweet sweet couch.

It comes apart, they say, in three peices so you can move it in with ease.

But it doesn't come that way.

First you would have to get it out of the elaborate cloth, cardboard, wood, plastic labarynth of packaging.

Then you would have to figure out how exactly it comes apart, which would undoubtably
require you to turn it upside down, outside, out of its packaging.

Then once you had it inside you would have to put it back together again.

Forget that! We say!

We are strong..... it's a couch...... how heavy can it be?

FREAKIN' HEAVY- CRAZY HEAVY- UNBELIEVABLY HEAVY !!!
Heavier than our hide-a-bed couch!

I have pulled the muscles in my arm so it hurts to press down with my middle and ring fingers.
Al almost broke his knee slipping on the ice and having one leg slide under the house at an angle reserved for pipe cleaners, while holding the heavy heavy couch.

I love the couch.

If we ever move we are taking it apart "for ease of transport"!!!!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

THE SCALE

So my husband bought a scale.

The kind that you stand on and it flashes this number at you and you think "holy man do I need to lose weight".

I have never personally owned a scale before.
I have never wanted to own a scale.
I was, in fact, dead set against a scale being in our house for the longest time.

When I started at the gym they weighed me, and I told them I didn't want to see what I weighed. I didn't care, I didn't want to know.

Now I know.

Now I have a scale, in my bathroom.

A scale that will track your weight loss/gain, if you program your original weight into the scale.

I am now, obsessed with the scale.

I weigh myself everytime I pass it. I am getting a close to accurate reading of how much each article of clothing I own weighs by removing a piece every time I weigh myself... "how much do I weigh in just socks?"

I am working my way up to actually saving my weight in it (its okay now that I know, but what if my husband saw?)

I like the scale though. It told me I lost 8 pounds.

8!

The scale is my new best friend!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

NO WAY!

A weekend around the little man got me thinking.

He can speak, and he does speak, but he mainly uses two sentences.
I think I am going to start reverting to two main sentences.
His two main sentences to be exact!

NO WAY!

and

THAT'S BETTER!

I mean really, what more do you need to say!

"Can you do this tedious job?" NO WAY? aaaahh. That's better.

How good would you feel? Just looking up at someone and saying NO WAY!
People would just stare, and then do the crappy work for you, they would be too stunned! and then you could say "That's better!"

All good.

Thanks Little Man...

That's better!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

I Want To Be Normal

So I have a cavity.
I have had a cavity for quite some time now.
I had an appointment to get said cavity fixed and I cancelled it.
I have not been to the dentist since.
Now, since I have had some extreme tooth problems in my day it has been weighing on my mind to make the appointment before it starts hurting.
So I call today and make the appointment (big step for Jesi) The lady says, "I see here you cancelled an appointment back in 2004, is that what this is for?"

2004? Really? Am I THAT pathetic??

Why yes I am!

I have been thinking about making this appointment on and off for over a year now. Every bit of me knows that it won't hurt. The last one didn't hurt. The root canal didn't hurt. Nothing hurt, just the needle, and I can handle the needle. Does that convince me?

HECK NO! I start to hyper-ventilate just THINKING about making the dentist appointment!! JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!

No kidding. I am freaked out right now! It took me a month and a half of constant thinking about it and minor freak outs just to call and make the appointment!!

What is wrong with me? Why am I thrown into fits at the thought of the dentist? I just want to be normal! I want to think, oh, its time to go to the dentist without my heart racing and my breathing becoming shallow. Is that too much to ask?

The last time I went to the dentist my husband came and held my hand because I just couldn't stop freaking out.

The time before that my sister came and held my hand and I was crying the whole time.

How pathetic is that?
Is it more or less pathetic than the fact that when I made the appointment for 4pm my first thought was "I wonder if Al can get off early and come with me"

Yes, yes I did.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Health Care

So the other day I'm listening to the news and there is some interview, with some guy, stating that Ralph Klein was sneaky and hid his agenda to privatized health care. The guy claimed that Ralph hid his intentions until after he was re-elected and is now campaigning for privatization of healthcare.
Now, I have lived in Alberta for 3 years, and I don't really follow politics at all. I actually am quite ignorant about who stands for what and why. The one thing I do know, and have known since I moved here, was that Ralph Klein is going for private healthcare. I'm not sure what rock this guy climbed out of, but buddy, there was no sneakiness, no secret, you just weren't paying attention.
Now, being a bit politically ignorant I don't really know how private health care would even affect me. What I do know is that people are against it. It sounds bad, it sounds like I would have to pay an atrocious amount of money to get services that right now cost me.... Oh wait, an atrocious amount of money!
I was looking through my bills today and we owe Alberta Healthcare $132.00 Each. That is $264.00 for 3 months of being able to go to the doctor. Then we pay $190.00/month for my extended medical, and $150.00/month for my husbands. Totaled up we are paying $428.00 a month for health benefits we may, or may not need! This is freaking me out! I mean really, how much more can private health care cost??
Oh and I'm sure it could cost more, but that isn't my point here. My point is I feel like I'm paying through the nose for crappy health care! I pay over $400 a month to have my doctor tell me that they can only discuss one problem because they have other patients waiting. What if I'm dying of some horrible illness that can only be detected if you take two symptoms into consideration at the same time???? Doesn't my money cover that? Nope, sorry NEXT!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Animals Abound

On my way to work today I was struck by what an amazing part of the country I live in.
Sure maybe GP isn't the prettiest city, with its industrial park feel and diesel smell.
But where else can I drive to work and pass a pack of coyotes, 7 in all, running around?
Or a herd of deer, at least 10, eating their breakfast?
Or a Momma moose and her two babies, well adolescents, also chowing down in one field, and 3 more moose in another?
What an amazing morning! I want to just pull over and stare at them they are such amazing creatures!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


My Doll

Makin' Babies

'Member back in High School when the Sex Ed lady would come in and give her baby making lecture?
Remember the "it only takes once" chat?

Why don't they tell you that that only applies to young, unwed girls who are at the point in their lives where a baby would be the worst thing in the whole wide world?

Why don't they tell you when they are recommending abstinence but advocating birth control that taking birth control can seriously hinder your chances of becoming pregnant later in life? You would think that would help the absitence argument!

Why don't they tell you that it may only take once but that is because you really only get one chance a month and when you are shooting for that chance your body will mess up so you can't actually track that chance?

Why don't they tell you that no matter how much you love kids spending time with people who apperar to be on a mission to repopulate the earth and could do it by looking at each other gets tiring and depressing?

Why don't they tell you that whether or not you have told people you are indeed trying to have a baby they will continue to ask things like "why haven't you gotten pregnant yet?" or "when are you going to have a baby?" or "aren't you trying to have kids?" and that while these things may be said in jest from them they are hurtful and frustrating when you actually are trying?

Why don't they ever tell you that while in high school it may only take once and you may lay awake at night fearing you have done something horrible, when you are older, and it doesn't take that one time you will still lay awake wondering if you have done something horrible?

Why does it feel like you will be young forever until you start trying to have a baby?

Why don't they tell you that although the practice may be fun, it sure would be nice to acheive your goal, so it could just go back to being practice!

Friday, February 17, 2006

More...

I did miss some!

  • We went to MEXICO!!!

How could I have possibly missed Mexico???

What a Difference 6 Months Makes

Last night I started to think back over the last 6 months, and I can not believe everything that has happened.

In 6 Months:
  • Our Truck was totalled
  • Al got a new job
  • I got a new job
  • We got a new car
  • C&S Moved
  • We got a new Kitty
  • C&S got a new car
  • We got a new Puppy
  • M&C Had another Baby
  • Lil man turned 2
  • We celebrated: Our 1st Anniversary; Thanksgiving; Christmas; NewYears; and Valentines day.
  • We've been to Edmonton 3 times
  • We've been to PG at least twice

I'm sure I'm missing things. If I think back over the year its even crazier. In about a month it will have been a year since Cc&S have been to our house, and in that time we have completely redone at least 3 rooms and added two pets! Wild.

One Toe In

Well, I guess its more than a toe, I have broken down, I have created a blog.
Look what you've done, all you bloggerites. You have sucked me in.... No turning back now.