Thursday, October 14, 2010

The James

We went to the James last night. (For those of you that don’t know, I call it the James because I don’t feel familiar enough to call it Gym). At the James I came to some realizations about myself. 
I like “going” to the James… as in, “I am going to the James tonight” or “Its been nice talking to you but I have to go, we are going to the James”.  I like thinking about going to the James, how I will burn calories, I will help myself lose weight, I will do, instead of wish I did. 

I also like having gone to the James, “oh, my calves hurt today, I was at the James last night.” (this is reality right now) “Sorry I missed your call I was at the James!”  I like thinking about how what I did will help me; I like knowing that the hurt I feel is a good hurt, it’s productive, it means I might not be this fat for the rest of my life.

I even like being at the James.  “oh Hi there James employee, haven’t seen you in a while” I like watching the machine as it tells me the calories I am currently burning or the distance I have managed to go while staying in one spot.  I like saying to myself “Way to go you! You made it, you are at the James!! You are not home on the couch with a bag of chips feeling sorry for yourself while you watch biggest loser!!”

What I don’t like, I find, is the exercising part. 

You know, that part where the leisurely walk on the treadmill starts to feel…uncomfortable?
Or those few minutes on the arc trainer when I think I might actually die? I don’t enjoy that shit. 

You know that expression “feel the burn”?  Well I feel it, and I want to react exactly the same way I would if I were literally on fire at that exact moment. 

When I “feel the burn” I want to stop drop and roll right there.  Somebody get me a blanket, cover me up, pat me down, and tuck me in.  Personally, I don’t like to be on fire!

My husband the Optimist (hahahahahahahahaha) thinks I’ll enjoy the “burn” once its not so… burn-y.

Of course to get to that point I have to get on an abbreviated name basis with James…   


  1. *snorts*

    "The James" OH MAH GAWD!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!!

    You hit the nail on the head, lady. Now we know why so many of us have weight/exercise issues.

    Mind ... I don't even like to 'go' to "The James" so ... what's that say?

    Enjoy the weekend ... minus the burn

  2. Perhaps your James should be introduced to my Trendy Bitch (the treadmill) I think they would be fast friends.
    Side note: Does working out in water help to decrease the burnyness? hummm?? Well it could serve better to drown someone though- could be a two for one.

  3. It such a good feeling to know you're not alone!!!

    AA- are you wanting to take the trendy bitch into the water? cause, well that would create a whole new level of issues I think.. :)