Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Email To My Sister

Often I start an Email to my sister and then it ends up being really long, or amusing and I decide to post it. So often (you know back when I posted to the blog) that I thought I should rename it Emails to My Sister. Instead… I will just title them that.

So the time has come to go back to the makeababy doctor.

Well, the time came a few months ago but apparently it is impossible to get there. I call to make an appointment and apparently they are only open between the hours of 2:15am and 4:35am but only on Odd days in the Chinese calendar when the moons of Jupiter are waning.

Or something equally as difficult for a person who rarely remembers to make appointments and feels that when I finally do there should be someone there to answer my call. If I’m working why aren’t they?

So somehow the planets Aligned and I managed to call during business hours.
"Oh, We’re sorry but you haven’t been here in a while you have to get another referral."
What? Why? I was referred, I came, I saw, I did blood work, I took drugs, I took a break and now I have to start all over again?
"Well, when treating a new issue you need to get referred again."
What new issue? It’s the same damn issue? We would like to make a baby…and we can’t no change.
Ya she doesn’t care. All she cares about is getting off the phone with me.

So now I realize that I have to make an appointment with My doctor, to get my doctor to ask the makeababy doctor if I can make an appointment. ~sigh~

So I call my doctor.

Wait… do I need a prescription refill? I think I do. Hmmm, to get that refill I need to get my blood tested. Okay, two birds with one stone here I’ll make the appointment for the referral and the refill and get my blood tested before the appointment good to go!

Hahahaha… no no, FAR too well planned out!!

Appointment made I leave work early to make the blood clinic…and hit every red light between work and the clinic. I arrive 7 minutes after it closes. Not actually so bad really, since I didn’t go and get the blood test form before going. Ok. I will go in the morning before I go to work.

I get up get ready get out and am on my way to the blood clinic by 7:15… without any paperwork. Turn around, go home get the paper go back. Stare at the paper… what the hell is all this shit for? This is supposed to be a simple Thyroid test… this is not the right blood work. Is it? Maybe? I’m not a doctor, I can’t read the Sanskrit and Egyptian symbols they have checked off.

I say screw it and I wait. I wait with 9 other people in front of me one of who has decided that we need to be chatted at. I’m really not sure who she was talking to but she talked… loudly… non…fucking…stop. I could hear her while her blood was being drawn!

But I digress. My number finally gets called, I hand in my paperwork and ask, “is this for thyroid?” No. It’s for Liver. Liver? Oh, right, back before my gallbladder was removed and they needed to check my liver enzyme level-madoohickies.
Soooo a completely useless blood test now.

I tell the lady my dilemma. She looks quite unsympathetic to my plight. I say, if I can’t get my thyroid tested today then my appointment on Friday will be to get another blood form in order to get my blood tested in order to make another appointment to get a prescription and get a referral for another appointment.

She blinks. I smile. She sighs… I look at the clock, I’ve been here for over half an hour… she says… I did NOT do this…and checks off the Thyroid box. (TSH on the Sanskrit blood test sheet for those of you who may need to doctor your own form.)

So one blood test down, one appointment to go in order to wait for the referral to get another appointment.

And so it starts again...


  1. Aaiiiiieeeee! Nuff to make you scream, but at least it's universal health care. Wouldn't be any fun (or funny blogs) if they made it easy!

  2. Okay ... my head hurts after that one. I think something may have popped.


  3. Seriously, I think that your expectations are way too high. I mean, Dr.'s are people too, they need to put food on the table and support their families. Sheesh... can't you see that they are double dipping for referrals.. *waves hand* you are soooo high maintenance..