I Want To Be Normal

So I have a cavity.
I have had a cavity for quite some time now.
I had an appointment to get said cavity fixed and I cancelled it.
I have not been to the dentist since.
Now, since I have had some extreme tooth problems in my day it has been weighing on my mind to make the appointment before it starts hurting.
So I call today and make the appointment (big step for Jesi) The lady says, "I see here you cancelled an appointment back in 2004, is that what this is for?"

2004? Really? Am I THAT pathetic??

Why yes I am!

I have been thinking about making this appointment on and off for over a year now. Every bit of me knows that it won't hurt. The last one didn't hurt. The root canal didn't hurt. Nothing hurt, just the needle, and I can handle the needle. Does that convince me?

HECK NO! I start to hyper-ventilate just THINKING about making the dentist appointment!! JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!

No kidding. I am freaked out right now! It took me a month and a half of constant thinking about it and minor freak outs just to call and make the appointment!!

What is wrong with me? Why am I thrown into fits at the thought of the dentist? I just want to be normal! I want to think, oh, its time to go to the dentist without my heart racing and my breathing becoming shallow. Is that too much to ask?

The last time I went to the dentist my husband came and held my hand because I just couldn't stop freaking out.

The time before that my sister came and held my hand and I was crying the whole time.

How pathetic is that?
Is it more or less pathetic than the fact that when I made the appointment for 4pm my first thought was "I wonder if Al can get off early and come with me"

Yes, yes I did.