Facebook

So I was added as a friend on Facebook, and I thought... Huh, whatever that means.
I’m not a try this new internet thing kind of girl.

When my friends and family started blogging, I thought... what an odd thing to do!
Why would anyone want to do that.... and now I do that. Well occasionally.
Okay I try to any way.

So then I was added as a friend on Facebook, and I ignored it.
Then another person added me as a friend on Facebook, and I thought...what the heck is that?

Know what it is?

It is a time sucker.
It is a nifty little place where everyone you’ve ever known has signed up and posted pictures.

They can send you messages, you can send them messages, you can post pictures, look at their pictures, look for people you haven’t seen in a long time, or add people you saw last week.

It’s a little place that sends me an email every time someone I know, or used to know posts a message, or a picture, or even breathes.
Then, I check that message, I check it and I look at the pictures and look for new friends, and old friend’ts and post pictures and and and.....

What time is it? How did I use my entire lunch time to look on Facebook?

Is that a new message? Who is that from, oh I haven’t heard from them in Years! I should reply right away, before I forget, oh they wrote back right away, I should check out their page, oh look at all those pictures....

So to my friends who added me as a friend on Facebook....

What did I ever do to you?

The Closet

Recently I noticed that after I do laundry, I tend to leave all the clean laundry in the basket and live out of there for the next week. Why is this? I wondered as I stared at our overflowing closet. Clothes are hanging and shoved in every nook and cranny. I occasionally pull something out, try it on, and decide it either: doesn’t fit; doesn’t look good; or is too full of holes to continue being worn. Then, like the intelligent woman that I am, I carefully fold the item into a large and nearly unidentifiable ball, and then shove it BACK in my closet.
I know! I amaze even me!

Well this Sunday I put my foot down. NO MORE! I cried. I’m tired of - that pair of overalls that used to look so cute but now don’t fit although even if they did you shouldn’t wear them because they are definitely not in style - staring back at me from the last spot I shoved them while I thought to myself “why do I still own these?”. NO MORE!

I pulled everything out of my closet. I mean EVERYTHING. The overalls, the jeans that I never should have bought, those shorts I really wanted to fit 4 years ago, the shirt that I can only wear at home cause its really ugly but really comfy that I never wear, the skirt that I can’t remember buying but I know it had to be only…7 years ago?
Everything. I went through it all. If it wasn’t in my most recent rotation I tried it on, talked myself out of it, and tossed it aside. If my husband hadn’t worn it since we’ve been married and he didn’t make a case for it, out it went.

Hours… It took me hours to complete! And at the end I was left with a very neat, still too full closet and two gigantic garbage bags (the lawn kind) full of clothes. I tied them up, and breathed a sigh of relief.

“What are you doing with all the clothes then?” my husband asked.

“Taking them to the salvation army or the value village drop off bins” I replied.

And then he took them.

What???

I didn’t get to age them! I didn’t get to have the bags in the other room while I got used to those things not being in my closet!

I didn’t get to figure out if I had accidentally thrown something in there that indeed, I was wearing I just forgot because it had been buried.

I didn’t get to slowly pull things back out because even though I’ll never wear them I have some strange guilt / sentimental attachment to them.

Gone!

So............. Anyone wanna go Shoppin?

Tax Man Cometh

I have completed my taxes.

I completed my taxes a couple of weeks ago actually, however I didn't physically have my RRSP receipts, plus there was that pesky "Net File" error.

So now I have everything and I'm ready to file,

I will update my Tax Wiz program which will take me an eternity on dial up
I will review my return, yet again, crossing the i's and dotting the t's
I will enter my T4's exactly as they appear
I will net file... and I will be audited.

I'm sure of it this year.

First, we are getting a substantial return.
We both overpaid all year "just in case the government comes up with some new and improved way to screw us". Plus we both got RRSP's this year, our first time with any real deductions.

Second, my T4's are wonky.
The "how to complete T4's for your employee's" page states that if the total income amount (box14) and the Taxable income amount are the same, you can leave the taxable income amount blank. Same for insurable earnings etc. If its the same, leave it blank it says. So my employer left it blank, on one of the T4's. See, my company branched off this year so I have 2 T4's, one of them has every box filled in, and one of them does not.
I have entered my T4's exactly as they appear, I wouldn't want the info I enter to differ from what my employer sent them!

But I definitely feel an audit coming on...

Remote Start Don't

When the man at the remote start install place tells you that when your car starts, and stops with the remote, it will unlock, and then re-lock your doors. Take this as a warning.

Do not start your car with it, then let it run while you scrape off snow, then get in put the key in the ignition, and then go back in the house for your cell phone.

Because the remote timer will run out.

The car will shut off.

The doors will lock.

Then your keys will be locked in your car hanging from your ignition. And since they are in the ignition, the fancy little unlock/lock fob that came with the car, will not work. IT has a safety feature that disables it when the keys are in the ignition.

HOW IS IT UNSAFE FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO LOCK AND UNLOCK MY CAR WHEN THE KEY IS IN THE IGNITION?

At the very least disable the lock button but not the UNLOCK!!

I mean really, there are manual ways for me to lock my doors when the key is in the ignition, you'd think the safety feature would be that you will always be able to unlock them with the little fob!

This has not been a fun week.

The Good Samaritan

On my way
to work today
a truck was stopped
and in my way

I stopped to help
the fellow out
He was stuck
without a doubt

Wheels spinning
he rocked his truck
Back and forth
without any luck

Across the ice
I made my way
To push his truck
and get on with my day

I push and push
without progress
it seems he's in
quite a mess

Surely he has a phone
but I offer mine
Call a tow truck he says
and he'll be fine

Amazed
I call my husband instead
This guy is stuck
and he's not right in the head

Help arrives
with a man and a truck
Without a rope he says
your out of luck

His 4x4
plows away through the snow
I think of the places
I wish i could go

To work for one
to be on time
This guy is costing me
more than a dime!

My Husband arrives
to save the day
Hooray finally
I will be on my way

Like the man before
he has no hope
The stuck man says
But I have a rope!

I can't believe he has a rope
I think
why didn't he say that earlier
the dink!

No place to hook it
My husband looks
Oh yes says stuck man
I have tow hooks

I'm stuck all the time
he says with a smile
By now we've been there
for quite a while

We tow him out
And to our chagrin
he drives ahead
and gets stuck again

It can't be done
he says with a pout
My husband gets in
and drives the stuck truck out.

Late for work
and frozen to the core
I think to myself-
What on earth did I stop for?

Tune Up

So I go to the "Make a Baby" doctor today.

I tell him, I was late -

Being late of course caused me to help further build the pregnancy test empire. Some one, some where, is getting very rich off of me.

They could charge a nickle a test and they would still be making a killing off of me. "it said no... I've never had one be wrong before EVER... but maybe, just maybe this one is wrong... I should test again...Hmmm another no...maybe I didn't wait long enough I should test again...hmmm still no, maybe this test isn't sensitive enough I should test again... hmmm still no, wonder what that means...?"

Know what it means? It means you're just late because your body has a very sick and twisted sense of humor and is somehow getting a kickback from the pregnancy test industry!

Another possibility is that my uterus and my liver are working together. Maybe my liver wants a weekend off so it is paying off my uterus to mess up my cycle.

But I digress, I was late...

Hmm says the doc... lets see:

Tubes?

Good!

Sperm?

Good!

Progesterone?

High!

Excuse me doc? did you do your training at Superlube by chance?

Oil Filter?

Good!

Transmission Fluid?

Good!

Oil Cap?

Tight!

SO he asks if I'm getting really worried.

No. We aren't panicking, I just want to stop flushing money down the toilet so to speak.

You have Irregular cycles.

Really? You don't say, how many years of medical school was that again?

So.. You produce less eggs than other women, giving you less chances a year to get pregnant.

Uhm, are you trying to get me worried?

Do nothing he says.

Nothing? Really?

This is what will get me results... Nothing?

Are you sure? 'Cause I can think of a step that might actually be quite crucial...

Just, relax and don't worry about it, don't think about it, just pretend like you are not trying to have a baby.

??????

I don't think the Pregnancy Test Tycoons are going to like that!

Time and Energy

Did you ever notice that half the time you're too busy to do stuff, and the other half you're just too lazy?

Whenever I am slammed crazy busy I think, gee, if I had time to take a break I would post on my blog that I haven't posted on in forever!

If I had the time, I would re-organize that kitchen cupboard that is driving me crazy.

If I had the TIME I would:

Go to the Gym
Clean the Car
Wash the floors
Clean up outside
etc. etc. etc

Then, when I'm not crazy busy I think... I wish I had the energy to re-organize that kitchen cupboard that's driving me crazy.

If I had the ENERGY I would...

I am starting to think that maybe, just maybe, deep down I don't want to do that stuff.

Maybe, in my subconscious the disorganized cupboard makes me feel comfortable.

Maybe I am at peace knowing the cupboard is a mess because it's my mess and that gives me a sense of security in this ever changing crazy world.


Maybe I'm just really lazy but also really good at excuses :)